Children's Right to Choose a Parent

 

                                                             By:  Ed Adams l0/l9/09

 

 

Objective:  The objective of this article is to examine the legal and emotional issues around children's right to choose with which parent they prefer to live .  This generally occurs in most states at the age of fourteen.

 

Summary:  Many people believe that it is absurd to allow children to decide where they prefer to live, given that it is believed that the child will pick the environment most suited to giving in to his desires.  Studies demonstrate that this is not necessarily the case, but that children will pick the home where they feel the most secure--where the limits are clear and protective of the child, as well as predictable.  This article puts forth a discussion of the legalities and emotional interplay when change of custody occurs by the child's wish at the age allowed by each state.

 

 

The law in Georgia states:  "In all custody cases in which the child has reached the age of fourteen years, the child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live.  The child's selection shall be controlling unless the parent so selected is determined not to be a fit and proper person to have the custody of the child."

 

In all custody cases in which the child has reached the age of at least eleven and not fourteen years, the court shall  consider the desires and educational needs of the child in determining which parent shall have custody.  The child's selection shall not be controlling.  The Best Interest of the Child standard shall apply.

 

In the case of the child that has reached the age of fourteen the following applies:  If after an investigation it is determined that the selected parent is fit, custody will be awarded to that parent.

 

However, in the case of the child who is between eleven and fourteen years of age, many factors will be weighed in addition to the desires of the child.  These factors include the educational opportunities, the ability to provide for the child, and what home best serves the "best interests of the child".

 

The welfare of a child is the most important duty placed on society.  History has shown that it is beneficial to allow the child to have some say in with whom his welfare should be placed.

 

All judges take the issue of custody very seriously.  Instead of believing that it is absurd to consider the opinion of the child, judges believe that the child's opinion is one of the most valuable tools in deciding the issue of custody.

 

By having a confidential conversation with the child the judge can have a better understanding of the true picture.  It is easier to establish the pros and cons of each living situation.  This makes the award of custody more than guesswork.  This does not rule out professional custody evaluations.  However, this article is more centered on "changes of custody" as children become older and have more input into their own situations.

 

Therefore, children can and should be able to participate in the determination of custody.  It helps them to lead a happier and more empowered life as they know that the had input into their own circumstances.  It often helps the parents as well, if handled properly.

 

One of the few good things about divorce is that it creates an environment in which parents watch each other.  This often means better circumstances for the child.

 

I had a case some years ago in which the father was a dedicated dad.  He spent his spare time with his child, a boy, playing sports, going to movies, and out to eat.  They had a great time!  The marriage, unfortunately failed, and the issue of custody arose.  The child was fifteen and chose to be with his  mother.  Everyone was surprised, including me.

 

The reason the boy gave for his choice was that his mother disciplined him and made him do his homework.  The father realized that he was being a "pal" but not necessarily a "father".  The couple had an amicable divorce and both became better parents.  In summary, giving the child input or the right of choice, can be beneficial to everyone involved.