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Legal
issues in stepfamilies
By
Ed Adams l0/l/09
Article
is for publication with MES and appears on
my web site
Objective: The objective of this article is
to pinpoint potential legal difficulties in
stepfamilies.
Summary: Couples enter into stepfamily
marriages with the expectation that the new
family will make up for the pain and
suffering of the previous family. That
belief can be destroyed quickly if the
couple is not aware of the perils that may
exist
down the road. This article identifies some
of those perils and suggests methods for
minimizing them.
The status of a
stepparent is not formally acknowledged by
law. However, the stepparent is socially
pressured to act in a protective role that
is usually attributed to the parent.
The behavior
that puts the most stress on the marriage
generally occurs when the stepparent exceeds
his "authority". This "authority" is
defined as what the biological parent would
"allow". The amount of discipline and in
some cases gestures of love, needs to be
clearly defined between the couples to avoid
friction.
There is a
tendency on the part of the stepparent to
apply the type of parenting skills with
which he or she is familiar. This, by
itself, is not wrong, but when it is
strikingly different from that of the
biological parent's way of parenting, it is
self-defeating.
The role of a
stepparent of minor children can be very
frustrating. While the stepparent has not
in Loco Parentis status (instead of a
parent) they are denied rights that a parent
has. The most common of these rights is the
securing of medical treatment. Unless the
stepparent has with them the necessary
documentation they will not be allowed to
authorize treatment for the minor child.
This problem can be avoided by having an
attorney prepare a form giving the
stepparent authority. This form should be
signed by the custodial parent as well as
the non-custodial parent, if the signature
of the latter can be obtained. Situations
such as school and other related arenas can
be handled with a similar form.
The "rights" of
the stepparents should be clearly written so
that he or she is protected.
The time will
come when the couple needs to discuss their
will. This often leads to problems. By
law, a stepchild has no right of
inheritance. If the stepparent dies
intestate (without a will) the stepchild
will not be ale to claim a portion of the
estate. To insure that the stepchild
receives the desired amounts a will should
be discussed marking the child as an heir.
Dissention
occurs when the biological parent feels that
his or her child is being unfairly treated
when the stepparent has biological children
and they receive a larger share of the
estate .This issue must be discussed
rationally with each party attempting to
hear the concerns of the other. It is easy
for this to become a highly emotional issue
which can make a wedge between the couple.
Child support is
another issue. The stepparent may feel that
he or she is being forced to pay expenses
that should be the responsibility of the
other biological parent. The appropriate
remedy here would be to take the parent in
question back to court to request an
increase in child support payments.
The issues
presented here, while similar to every
marriage, are unique to stepfamilies. Many
couples are unable to resolve them resulting
in divorce. When the final decree is issued
ending the stepfamily, the role of the
stepparent may be ended. No child support
can be ordered, and the other issues usually
associated with divorce such as child
custody and visitation are not relevant.
Hopefully, by
adopting safeguards, some of which are
outlined here, stepfamilies can remain in
tact and produce the relationships that were
desired to that the children can finally see
how a successful marriage operates.
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