Divorce and the After-Effects

 

We hope that the marriage will last a life-time.  As we know, this is not always the case. 

However, what does last for a life-time are the after-affects of a divorce; especially if children are involved.

 

                                    Potential Perils

 

The area that is the most ripe with legal problems is the area of child support.  The non-custodial parent will almost always be ordered to pay child support.  The amount to be paid is based on several factors but mainly on the amount of income earned by the parent paying the child support.

 

The amount of child support ordered by the court is the amount that must be paid.  Neither parent can decide legally to reduce the amount ordered by the court. 

 

In order for a reduction to become binding, a motion must be filed and the judge must issue a new order.

 

The grounds for a reduction include a reduction in the non-custodial parent's income and/or and increase in the custodial parent's income.  This is called a Change of Circumstance.

 

Other factors can be considered, however, and it is in the judge's discretion to grant or deny the motion.  It depends on the venue as to how often this motion can be filed.  A local attorney can advise you.

 

                           The Reality

 

There are many different reasons that the non-custodial parent may pay less than the required amount.  The two most common are:  l) the non-custodial parent convinces the custodial parent that he/she cannot pay the amount ordered by the court and the custodial parent agrees to let him/her pay less.  2) the non-custodial parent gives the child clothes and other gifts of comfort or pleasure and deducts these from the child support payments.

 

These two issues are both reasons to pay less child support.  And yet, the following occurs quite often:

 

The custodial parent decides that he/she is no longer happy with the agreed upon situation.  This may happen after a quarrel of some kind.  Then the old angers and  means of dealing with conflict recur.  It is important to remember that if people are such good friends that they can make and stick to such deals, there would not have been a divorce in the first place.

 

So the custodial parent becomes unhappy with the "deal" and files a motion for Contempt,

rightfully arguing that the required child support was not paid.

 

The non-custodial parent would face the possibility of serving jail time until the arrears was paid or at best would be ordered to pay the arrears over a period of time.

 

This is a good place to add that many people become confused about the issues of visitation and child support.  Failure to pay child support is NOT grounds to withhold visitation.  And, the payment of child support as ordered by the court, is NOT grounds to pursue more visitation than the court has ordered.  The two issues are treated as entirely separate entities.

 

                                         Solution

 

Many people ask if this ruling as described above pertaining to child support payments is fair.  It may not be.  However, it is made very clear by courts that the order by the court must be followed.

 

To prevent the possibility that you might in good faith go along with a friendly agreement made with an ex-spouse and later be held in Contempt, please remember the following:

 

If you are unable to follow the terms of the order, seek a modification through a Motion to Modify.  If you give "gifts" make sure that you get a receipt from your ex-spouse showing that whatever was in question was not a gift but, in fact, part of the child support.

 

You need to give the court what it needs to protect you.  The court is not the enemy, although many people see it that way.

 

Did you Know?   There are many parents who maliciously withhold child support out of anger with an ex-spouse.  They don't realize that it is the children that they hurt.  Children

may and usually do, decide that they don't matter if the parent who is to pay child support doesn't do it.  There are also many well-meaning parents who enter into side agreements with ex-mates, later to be called to task for failure to follow the court's order because an ex-spouse had a change of mind.